We have all been through pain and we have all been through trauma and we all have these parts of ourselves that are begging for attention. I think when we see something that we find unpalatable in someone else the easy route is to be like 'urgh that thing no' and the hard work is to think 'why is that affecting me so much?'. Often in my experience, it's some bit of me that I am not taking care of and I'm not engaging with or that I find unpalatable and unacceptable. And so I think most often those judgements come from people who don't feel comfortable in their own skin and don't love and accept themselves because loving and accepting yourself in a culture that profits from you not loving and accepting yourself is fucking hard!